For as long as I can remember, both during my own journey as an Executive Assistant and in my eight years as the Founder of The Assistant Room working with assistants around the world, there has been a pervasive, toxic undercurrent in our industry. It’s a narrative that glorifies basic acts of self-advocacy as “brave” and frames gratitude for the bare minimum as a virtue. Let me be clear: this needs to stop.
The idea that asking for what is fair, access to professional development, external support, or even basic respect as an assistant is somehow courageous, rather than simply expected, is a systemic problem. It’s a mindset that has been sold to us, passed down, and perpetuated to the detriment of our industry. And worse, we’re buying into it.
So why are we settling for less? Here’s the thing: every professional deserves access to the tools and networks that elevate them. For EAs and PAs, that includes resources like external training, mentorship opportunities, and platforms like The Assistant Room membership. Yet, I’ve heard countless assistants balk at the idea of investing £34.99 a month in their careers.
Let’s break that down.
We’re talking about an amount that, in the grand scheme of personal and professional growth, is peanuts. It’s less than the cost of a weekly takeaway or a few drinks on a Friday night. Yet, many hesitate, conditioned by a culture that tells us we should be lucky for any crumb of support we’re handed. This mindset is holding us back. It’s time to wake up.
Here’s another problem: the fixed mindset that too many assistants carry around like a badge of honour. “Oh, my boss will never approve the budget.” “They’ll say no if I ask for training.” “They won’t understand why I want a membership.”
Reality check. Every other department in your organisation, from marketing to HR to IT, is asking for (and receiving!) the tools and resources they need to succeed. Yet, too many assistants are preemptively disqualifying themselves because they fear rejection. Let me say this loud and clear: stop taking “no” for an answer!
If your boss says no to investing in you, don’t shrug it off. Push back. Ask why. Present your case again, armed with facts. Explain how this investment benefits not just you, but them, their business, and their reputation. If your boss doesn’t see the value in elevating you, maybe the real question is: why are you working for someone who doesn’t value your growth?
This isn’t about being confrontational; it’s about standing up for what you deserve. If you don’t advocate for yourself, who will?
The notion that we should be grateful to be given opportunities, whether it’s a pay rise, career advancement, or access to external resources reinforces the stereotype that our industry is full of disposable, untalented individuals. It suggests we’re lucky to even be here. But we all know, luck has nothing to do with it.
Assistants are the backbone of their organisations. They are strategic enablers, problem-solvers, and gatekeepers. Yet, until we collectively demand more and reframe our worth, we will continue to be undervalued. We need to stop tolerating narratives that diminish our contributions and start recognising that fair compensation, access to resources, and professional respect are not luxuries, they are the baseline.
So what is the real cost of inaction? When we allow ourselves to be conditioned by a scarcity mindset, we perpetuate the cycle. We affirm the idea that our industry isn’t worth investing in, both for ourselves and for those watching from the outside. This doesn’t just hurt us individually; it hurts us collectively. It sends a message that assistants don’t value their own growth, so why should anyone else?
If you’ve ever caught yourself saying, “I can’t justify spending £34.99 a month on a membership” or hesitating to ask for that training budget, take a step back. Think about the return on that investment. Think about what you gain: skills, connections, and, most importantly, confidence. If we don’t invest in ourselves, we give others permission to dismiss our potential.
Assistants! What You’re Not Changing You’re Choosing
The good news is that change starts with small, actionable steps. Here are four ways you can start demanding the what you deserve today:
- Ask for a Pay Rise That Reflects Your Worth
Stop undervaluing yourself. Evaluate your position in the business, prepare a compelling case, and schedule that conversation with your employer. Highlight your contributions and the measurable impact you have on the business. It’s not about being pushy, it’s about being factual. - Secure a Budget for You and Your Admin Team
Don’t just ask for professional development for yourself; advocate for your colleagues too. Whether it’s a group membership to The Assistant Room, team-wide training sessions, or external conferences, make the case that investing in the admin function is an investment in organisational success. - Discuss Your Career Growth
If you’ve been in the same role for years without any shift in responsibilities or title, it’s time for a change. Sit down with your employer to map out a career development plan. Whether it’s a title that reflects your strategic input (e.g., Executive Operations) or expanded duties, this is about moving your career forward, not standing still. - Challenge the “No”
If the answer is no, don’t let it be the final word. Find out why. Reframe the conversation. Present evidence of how your request will benefit the organisation. And if you hit a wall, explore other opportunities where your growth will be valued. You’re not asking for a favour, you’re presenting a business case for success.
Let’s start rewriting the story. Stop calling it “brave” when someone advocates for their worth. Stop normalising gratitude for scraps. And for the sake of yourself and your career stop believing that an investment in yourself is “too expensive.” You are your own greatest asset, and the tools you choose to equip yourself with will shape the trajectory of your career and ultimately, your life.
Together, we have the power to elevate the assistant industry from one that has been underestimated and misunderstood to one that is seen as essential, impactful, and deserving of respect. But it starts with us. It starts with recognising that we are not lucky to be here, we’ve earned our place, and it’s time to act like it.
Let’s stop settling. Let’s start expecting. And above all, let’s demand what we’re worth.
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This is your gateway to mastering the art of assistance and unlocking limitless potential in your role. Become part of The Assistant Room today.